Elesian
To the lover I left back home

To the lover I left back home

You said you love me. I said that too. I did mean that. I loved you too. In that very moment I loved just you, and only you with all my heart and soul.

We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. Young love, it was. It was like the shade of a tree on a hot summer day. But soon, winter was ought to come.

I am sorry I had to be the one to leave. To chase my dreams, to follow my passion, to find myself, I had to leave. And, it costed us our love. But I am not sorry for that. If I have to, I would do it all over again. If you were me, you would do that too.

You said you would stay, wait for me till the eternity. You said I could come back to you and forever find my home. I was reluctant, yet I couldn’t see it any other way. I loved you and there was no way I would want an end to that.

The pain of separation was so profound that I feared I would loose myself. It was like I couldn’t see the end of the tunnel. I couldn’t see any light, any love. I was so sick of the tunnel that I had to take my mind off things.

That was when, I learnt to love myself. I chose me and everything started to seem small. And soon, you became just a shout in the void.

~Fast forward to present~

We don’t agree on anything. We fight. We argue. We are never on the same page. Ever. We love each other, but it just doesn’t work. You say, I have changed. And I say, yes I have. At least there’s one thing we agree on.

Now I think of it and our kind of love was never “forever kind of love”. And darling, if its not forever its not love. Its only good that we part ways.

Its not “I don’t love you anymore” or “I fell out of love with you” or “my love for you is now any less than it used to be”. Its just, we have different lives, different boundaries and different standards. The old school love remains, but life has happened to both of us in different ways.

You are grounded. You are natural. You are cut off from the wordly ties. You trust your emotions. You deserve better. I know you do. And I know you know that too. You are just too modest to ask. You are so afraid to be free that you want to hold on to this.

So here’s me, doing both of us this favor. Setting you free. You will forever hold a special place in my heart. But now it won’t be “time and again, and I come back to you”. You are now free. And listen, don’t wait up.

Love you.

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